2003-11-07 @ 11:37 a.m.
1.)Appearing sad or lonely because deserted or abandoned.
2.)Forsaken or deprived: forlorn of all hope.
That's me right now. I don't why I feel abandoned by someone who really never could pick me up in the first place, but right now- the pathetic regard in which I am valued is leaving me blue.
"I want a good life with a nose for things
the fresh wind and bright sky to enjoy my suffering
A hole without a key if I break my tongue
Oh, speaking of tomorrow, how will it ever come?
All my lies are always wishes
I know I would die if I could come back new"
-Wilco "Ashes of American Flags"
forlorn = Wilco. But now I feel a little better. Even crumpled paper sacks can be smoothed and used again.
That's the upside.
Update- (I wrote this comment on my entry later today to my special friend bloodsun)
This feeling this morning has more to do with my regret that I didn't let go of my relationship with Sal before the kids came along, back when I just knew he didn't appreciate me. But I love the girls- and they know all the words to "Heavy Metal Drummer" and "Outta Mind (Outtasite)" too! You know, when I realize that Jeff Tweedy is a person in this world who is undoubtedly constantly forlorn, it makes me feel better. The darkest era of my life is surely past now. My forecast might not be sunny, but it ain't dark.