birth mother/ rock star
2004-01-18 @ 9:47 a.m.
On Thursday night I was on a birth mother panel at Childrens' Home Society for a monthly seminar for adoptive parents. Our panel was the final hour of Thursday's seminar, and it was myself and another birth mother.
We talked about each of our situations that led up to the decision to put our child up for adoption, the way we chose the adoptive families, the experience in the hospital, and the experience since then. There was opportunities for questions after each piece.
This was really cool to do. I sometimes wonder, since my situation seems unusual if my "story" would be helpful to adoptive parents. I realized it is because if nothing else- every couple I spoke to thought a little differently about their ideas of open adoption after hearing us talk.
The other birth mother had an amazing story herself. It was really cool meeting this young adult and hearing her remarkable choices. It helps you step back from your own situation and acknowledge that the affinity you feel for this person is mainly because they made a choice as hard as the choice you've made. So your admiration for them just naturally transfers back to yourself. You get to bask in that glow of shared experience.
Plus, the awe these expectant adoptive families offer you is pretty cool. It's reverant almost. I sort of felt like a rock star.
And I thought it was amazing to look into the faces of 30 couples who are so willing to be parents. You might think it would be depressing or the need might be scary.
Of course, they all want to know what made you "pick" the family that adopted your child, what can make someone "pick" them..
I was happy that between the two birth mothers we basically said we were comforted by a family that was similar to our own growing up. I said that the coolest thing in this was recognizing that there is need involved, but once the process begins that the need is dissolved by the trust it takes from both parties.
It was a really cool experience. I'd do it again.