Anyway, part of the whole image train of thought today stems from me deciding I should think more about the sitcom I plan to create about what�s happened over the past few years of my life. I forgot to tell you all of these plans? Well, I told devian already, and now you know too...

It�s so unreal that it�s a perfect sitcom scenario. Single mom character, in the forefront with the ex/deadbeat dad character married to an insanely cartoonishly selfish foreign woman on one side, and then the adoptive couple on the other.

I�ve also already decided that devian would be my adorable best friend/ neighbor, and I figured that thisendup�s character makes the ideal wacky sister. devian will play himself. So for fun, I was thinking who I would cast as the mommylap�

Liza Snyder from CBS �Yes Dear� is practically perfect to play me. She�s sexy, she looks like me in coloring and body type, and she has the wry delivery that could carry the attitude with which I seem to tell you all about the ridiculous things that happen in my life. When I first saw her on the ill-fated �Jesse� I knew she was me. Of course, she currently is on a hit show. But this is a fantasy, so�

She�s apt to kill me, but for thisendup I�d be looking for a Rosanna Arquette/Brittney Murphy type. Amanda Bynes is too young, but think of all the hilarious PHYSICAL comedy we could employ if thisendup was played by her. We�d be going for someone with a sexy because she�s crazy vibe (like Amy Poehler has from SNL, except she�s nothing like my thisendup) because for the character to work she has to be exaggerated. In reality, thisendup is more a Molly Ringwald type. That type is too close to the main character. We�d need CONTRAST.

For Sal ideally we�d get Donal Logue. Because he could walk around as full as himself as Sal does. Y�know, the character would play like a maintenance man who walks around as if he�s a rock star. But he has to have enough of the actual rock star quality that you hesitate every once in a while thinking �maybe he�s sexy after all�. I mean, we won�t glorify the loser, because his behavior will be damnable. He�d have to in some ways be a loveable Nick Tortelli (Dan Hedaya) Carla�s ex from Cheers. The show that would win the emmy would be the one where it becomes perfectly clear what a wonderful life he could have if he just applied his talent and gifts to everyday life instead of being the waste of space he is.

Sal �s wife would be a hysterical character. Idiotically selfish and without any sense of those qualities. The first thing the network will say is that she can�t be foreign because it will offend too many people. Whoever plays this character will get a lot of laughs.

The adoption thing will not play into every episode, but would appear more often then, say Phoebe�s brother and wife with the triplets. One third or fourth of the episodes would feature them, and they wouldn�t have to be �about� open adoption issues or senarios. It�d be just nice to see the other side of Lifetime showing �birthmother goes mad and kidnaps the baby she gave up�. This would be more- oh they�re a great married couple with a child, and I am the child�s birthmother.

legalbeagle would make special appearance played by Jeananne Garafalo. After playing Ms. Beagle, critics everywhere will say �Who knew how sexy she could be?� in hushed tones.

A television revision would be that I would only have one kid and that she will be older. I don�t want any kind of �Full House� vibe going on with any freaking twins. (Of course- �Full House� was a long-running hit�)

I�d want the show to have the tone of �Mad About You�. I actually think the scenario could make a great sitcom. I could call it ��In My Lap�. What if Tina Fey could be the head writer on the show? Her humor sensibilities are similar to mine.

Is it over the top to create an entire sitcom just to illustrate to someone that he is in fact a loser and a deadbeat dad?

This creative concept does not conflict in my commitment to getting twomothers their own tv show, like yesterday. I never will stop laughing...