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A conspiracy I'd bet. The SALAZAR conspiracy.
2004-06-07 @ 10:29 a.m.

SALAZAR. That was a Mafioso on a soap opera I think. SALAZAR. If it wasn’t it should be. I talked to a “Ms. SALAZAR” and I was flooded with millions of mob thoughts and tempted to say inappropriate things to her. All because of some vague recollection of a possible soap opera villain reference.

Is the SALAZAR I spoke to today in the Soap Opera Witness Protection Program? If so, do all ex-Mafiosos from Soaps go to the same protection program? So Julia from All My Children could be in hiding with Eden from Guiding Light? I wonder if Madame SALAZAR is looking to get them? I wonder if she is in cahoots with the Santos clan on Guiding Light. I think I might be confusing Vinnie Salerno with SALAZAR, but- no way. SALAZAR is behind everything, I just know it.

Heh heh heh. Go ahead and say it with me. I know you want to. SALAZAR.

Work is more interesting now for the most part. But the one thing they tell you in training when they completely skip over the procedure is that you will almost never get any “DECEASED” calls. This is to assist someone reporting the cardholder has croaked. Of course, in my case, NEVER means EVERY DAY. Luckily the procedure is really really easy. Sadly, the calls are..well..SAD. When I worked in Human Resources we would call them “death calls”, and those were really awful because we were working with Life Insurance and so forth. The death calls I take now are so sad because 8 times out of 10 they are calling because the accountholder passed away several months ago, and a card reissue (new expiration date) was just received. So the caller was just getting used to the fact that this person is gone, and finally stopped thinking about it every day until whammo- here’s a new credit card. Sooo depressing.

I am on a streak with one each day. This morning there’s been two.

I bet it’s all because of SALAZAR.


Apparently I can't shut up...
hearts aflutter - 2011-04-12
blather over lunch - 2010-04-30
revival - 2010-04-18
foot dragger - 2009-08-21
The bangs of a Stooge - 2009-08-20

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