Everyone should read discothekid today. (and sign the nice petition too).

I had a dream this morning that I was at a house party at trancejen�s house (I know?! But my kids were playing blissfully with the J-man and all adults were hanging in peace, it was awesome) and I was pitching a new reality show to some network guy there. (??!! Again. I KNOW. That�s why it was a dream.) My pitch was that the Daddyman should let TOM ARNOLD adopt his baby (not my child, but it wasn�t stated if it was an evil KGB baby) and live with him during the transition, and that would be the reality show.

It�s actually kind of genius, I think.

I went on several secret dates with Tom Arnold in 1988 or 89, right as the tabloids were saying he and Roseanne were having an affair. He said it wasn�t true. We had a lot of fun, he was actually fit (on some crazy diet + cocaine), really fun to hang out with, and he really liked me. He was also really nervous, but I figured it was the coke. (I was 20 at the time). I met him through Curtiss A. Tom kept saying that I was brilliantly funny and he would get me a writing job in CA, which made me laugh. He used the same hair products as me and thought I was cool to wear clunky men�s shoes. Two weeks later, Roseanne left her husband and they were publicly a couple.

True story.