It's my favorite song from the White Album too (I'm so tired)
2004-10-18 @ 2:23 p.m.
I am so bored.
I have lots of stuff that I should be doing, or trying to do all the time.
For instance right now, I should be taking calls and not screwing around here..at home, I should be throwing bags and bags of stuff away until my house is clean and all the clothes that donít fit us are gone and out of the way, as well as all the crap we donít even use and trip over.
I should be being creative and sewing myself new clothes, clothes that fit, clothes of my own design.
Or sewing Halloween costumes for my kids who have changed their minds about what to they want to be at least 4 times since last month.
I should be kicking the Daddyman's ass until I get some time to myself or any money at all or at the very least until he no longer can sit down comfortably in the pew at whatever church heís attending today to reassure himself that even if he hates himself that Jesus still loves his sorry ass.
I am just really wiped out. It may be that I am, in fact, depressed also, but because the feeling of depression as juddhole has so eloquently described it, hasnít been showing that face to me. I donít feel blue as much as tired tired tired. I am so worn out with where I am. Iím so worn out I canít come up with any solution that might change things permanently.
Itís not an issue where I have downtime alone and my mind races. Itís that I havenít had time alone. Each Friday off has been booked with taking care of all the bigger crap pressing down on me like I am Atlas.
I am sure that I am not eager for new distractions, but rather, new pursuits.
But first, a nap would be really really nice.