I feel like I'm about to break under an incredible amount of stress.

The catching up won't ever end, because when it's in sight, my car just decides to run so hot in spite of not being low on fluid that if I even think about starting it I believe the head gasket will blow.

Of course, so the bills that are not caught up are going to remain behind, and the houseguest got laid off, or fired- I'm not sure what to call it, and so that inevitably means the child support will end.

I spent the weekend switching things around in my home, and got quite a bit done, but between my neighbor and my houseguest I really couldn't dislike my house more, and yet I am totally stuck with having to just be there because everything else- running away, moving away, it all costs money. Plus, the car won't run for me.

I even distracted myself by overindulging myself in one of my crushes, and went ahead and sent him an e-mail, which he returned with what might be considered lightening speed. Somehow, however- it doesn't necessarily make me feel remembered or special really, which is just re-fucking-diculous and dumb of me, but the heavy fog just won't lift!

Thisendup (who some of you might remember) sent me a message on myspace to tell me a co-worker of ours, who I was really fond of had died. It appears that it was some kind of accidental overdose, and being that he was recently engaged to a great guy he'd met working at the bullseye company, the fact that he'd somehow figured out how to reconcile his sexuality being open, and his relationship with God which had caused him difficulties with the whole acknowledging his sexuality thing- it just seems like he'd grown and overcome a lot of immense things, and it's really sad that he isn't here to be able to help other young gay men with that as well. Even though I hadn't seen him in years, it really makes me sad, and I tried to e-mail another old friend to be sure she knew, because she would want to, they were best of friends before she left the bullseye co, and the last e-mail address I had for her came back unrecognized. So that effort was useless too.

Thank goodness mom-on-roof is so uplifting and all because I'm awishin' for Huck's raft right about now for sure. Dern the dern fog is right.

To cheer up go look at legalbeagle and the loveliness of motherhood. It's breathtaking!