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call on ME already...
2004-01-13 @ 4:59 p.m.

Thoughts provoked from devian's great mind today-

"I ask this question: can someone be confident in some areas and lack confindence in others? Does lacking confidence in some areas minus out the confidence you feel you have in other areas?..."

I am pretty self-confident. In fact, I'd go as far to say that since I was in Kindergarten, I've always assumed that everyone was very interested in my input. I was the original hand-raiser/speaker-upper. In fact that was a huge reason I had eep repeat 1st grade. Not because I thought she couldn't grasp things in 2nd this year, but because I wanted her to feel more socially confident in class.

So I am free with my input, ideas, thoughts, and luckily for those around me, these tend to be positive. I'm not someone who points out what's wrong without turning it into an idea of how to improve (ie;fix) it. I am lightening quick to share with anyone I see anything I like about what that thing is, whether I know them or not.

Yes, I am the stranger who says "excuse me, but that _____ is terrific. You look great in it." or something to that effect.

And those positive thoughts extend pretty freely to myself. I like so much of who I am, that I think I project that in general. But, I do question things- I mean, what if I'm actually delusional and all this candy ass thinking has rotted the molars of my brain? I think attitude can carry the lowliest being up as much as 15 rungs on the ladder of impression, but what if I really have no idea what I'm talking about?!

Sal remains the only person who markedly makes me feel like I have no root in reality in terms of knowledge and insight, etc, but I can discard those moments freely when I clear my head and realize that I am the only person who gives him any feedback or advice that works for him!

But maybe people everywhere are snickering behind my back. Maybe no one cares what I think and wonders where I get off..

I still have to raise my hand to contribute.

Apparently I can't shut up...
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