in conclusion; my back is aching from congested creativity
2004-01-30 @ 9:47 a.m.
It appears that everyone is feeling much better (finally)
When it is as cold as it is outside, you have to feel all but perfect to be able to stand being out and about.
Yesterday I kept the mina home again, because she just complains at school that she doesn't feel well.
She's says that she "feels like she's going to throw up" and that's not at all accurate, but it's effective- so that's what my little liar goes with.
Anyway, what helped the girls turn that corner was Vicks Vapo-rub. Now there coughs are loose and almost gone. We all went to bed at 9:15 too. They took steamy showers. See all this parenting productivity proves that I am feeling better.
It's because I am all doped up on psuedoephedrine though.
And I've established that I am convinced taking psuedoephedrine perpetuates my congestion. Meaning that when I don't take it, I feel sick. But I will be a junkie for now, if it gets me going.
I feel like this week was lost. I just have to let go of it, but what is wrong with me? Where is my resolve and spirit regarding work? I am going to have to figure out a plan, being that my job is enjoyable-in the sense that I enjoy that I do it well, but it's NOT challenging, and is downright anti-stimulating. I have to make up for that elsewhere or I will start setting off small bombs that I will then have to diffuse later so my employment doesn't collapse.
The good news is that I know I can DO that! I have the support and clear thinking to actually do that.
One big thing is that (thank god!) I have my diary as being a creative outlet for me, but it can't be the only one right now. I am so inspired by devian painting so much lately- I seriously think it's been a great non-verbal outlet for his thoughts and emotions (and in saying "non-verbal" what I really mean is creativity not involving words- if anyone knows an actual term for that, please give me the heads up. after further pursuit, demonstrative may be the adjective I'm looking for, it might be close enough...) and I think that's given him balance in his clarity of thought. I think that would be effective for me.
So I'm not laying down any gauntlet for myself yet or anything, but I think I need to be sure I am at least just sewing something every month. And I can't bunch myself up on making sure it's worth my while, but instead just doing even the simple hour long projects to get everything flowing. I won't insist I make the pattern from scratch, I won't insist that it be something special for me- I'll just make up little projects and deadlines instead of having glimmers of ideas on hold.
So that's what I think I need to do.
But I ain't making any promises.
(although I think legalbeagle so needs a little sexy frock to celebrate her newest success!)