la di da
2004-06-11 @ 8:39 a.m.
The Daddyman, in spite of his failure to BRING THE MONEY, has not been #1 on the shit charts with me of late. He’s been flexible with me scheduling stuff on weekday evenings, and he’s finally made the realization that full-days with the girls are better 1) if they sleep over the night before 2) if they do something other than watch TV all day. It’s been a long time coming, but I was feeling like a change is gonna come, yes it will. I still pretty much am- the aura of “just talk no action” hasn’t been draped all over Sal like a bad suit as much lately – the mommylap corporation isn’t making any official announcements to the stockholders yet, but we are mindful of the possibilities.
La di da –Keep moving forward
His kids are a source of satisfaction in the life of the Daddyman now. He has finally realized that his peace is directly linked to his interaction and personal responsibility to them. His guilt about them is all self-imposed and only he can alleviate it. This is the wisdom that has come to him. Amen.
La di da –Keep moving forward.
It’s his marriage that is the source of all evil. KGB represents that sad old circle of disappointment and guilt. It’s their dance of impossible expectations that makes him miserable.
Such a source of my endless amusement really.
KGB is a mired in self-pity gal, who brings bad luck and bad karma to her life by her lack of hope, lack of belief, and some pretty stellar bad decision-making in general, so instead of “cycles of disappointment” (which imply hope exists) let us just refer to their lives together as a “cycle of misery”.
Sal ’s Personal Level of Hell.
Here’s why his life is an endless source of shattered dreams-
Sal IS a worthless piece of charming shit, to be sure –but he is also tricky in that he is very resourceful, can show glimmers of a stellar work ethic, and has insane luck. But none of this really comes into play without some hope, trust, or belief. He has none for himself really- it can be summoned, but it does not flow through his bloodstream by nature- there is no secret undercurrent- it has to be inspired. His wife is incapable of playing this role. She wills him to disappoint her expectations at every turn by making sure they are unrealistic and also believing above all else that he will do so.
Why does this come up? Because KGB called me yesterday from CA where she’s visiting “Mama” to ask if I knew Sal ’s whereabouts since he wasn’t returning her calls. She is freaking out because he got paid, hasn’t deposited any money in their account yet, and he has a car. To her this means he’s on a massive crack binge.
I told her to let it go. I could’ve talked her down but just said she was jumping to conclusions and should trust him. I know that’s not in her nature so I find that advice to be evil and amusing. It’s like torture for her.
But I am smarter and calmer when it comes to Sal. I know what works. He’s not calling because it’s DAYTIME stupid, he’s SLEEPING, he probably hasn’t gotten the mail, he won’t go to the bank because he’s lazy and it’s rush hour. He’s not returning your calls because 50% of him hates you and he doesn’t have anything to say.
Every message she leaves will guarantee he will not call. Every message that implies she fears the worst is going to guarantee it. He is just lazy now, not “up to no good” but he could sure make the worst true since she’s so committed to it.
I have no sympathy. Not my drama.
La di da. Ha ha