2004-06-23 @ 12:41 p.m.
My 30ís, which I spent my entire young life waiting for, are half over. When I anticipated this time, Iíll admit I never once thought of myself as being a parent. I never ever thought of being a mother when I was young. I didnít play house. I played Charlieís Angels (I was Kelly-duh). I donít know why I was so sure that once I turned 30 that things were bound to start happening, but I never have ever once thought of thirty as being old.
These past two weeks, I have felt kind of old. Okay- maybe not old, but tired. Tired from working a really simple job. One with duties that require I be sitting.
A show of hands please, those of you who think I am actually just completely uninspired and sort of emotionally exhausted? Good. Itís unanimous.
I have spent this past year just trying to regain my footing. I am well over the post-Sal trauma; Iíd like to think. Although he continues to come up with new indiscretions (like copping a quick feel when I hugged him for Fatherís Day- teach me not to maintain an armís length.) I can predict life even with Sal factored in now. I am as sure on my feet as I am going to be, I think, and I canít keep waiting for a level playing field.
It occurred to me that stuff happens when Iím cautious and when Iím careless and a twisted ankle just doesnít slow me down that much. Iím not tired because Iíve had too much life; Iím tired because I am not getting enough.
Here comes tomorrow already.
Ready, Set, Go.
mommylap's birthday is June 24th. The exactly 6 months from Christmas Eve thing has always worked out exceedingly well for her