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negative pap
2004-06-28 @ 3:00 p.m.

My title reads like this will be about some awful medical results, doesn't it? Ha,ha fooled ya!

My horoscope is seriously trying to fuck my shit up. It keeps indicating me+negative=right now.

I am baffled, because itís not true. I am the bluebird of happiness. I am wary, yes- but looking for the dark side of things? Nope.

Even when I do linger over the dark side itís usually with extreme delight and approval. Because I have always liked the mysterious, the unanswered, the flat out bad and evil, the morally flexible. Need I go on? This is not because I am interested in reform either. I like shadowy characters to stay shadowy. I like the misunderstood to remain misunderstood.

But all this implication of negativity is making me a little grouchy. Self-fulfilling prophesy much Washington Post?

Almost as if I was inspired by the implication I am being negative, I bought Star magazine to read during my lunch break. Entertainment Weekly doesnít come out this week because apparently I failed to notice last week was a double issue. (Double my ass- it wasnít double anything and it didnít last me longer..) All the celebrity gossip and terrible pictures in Star magazine certainly make me focus on the negative. I donít want to think about whether Lindsey Lohan is embroiled in a ďreal life parent trap!Ē or if Hilary Duff has packed on 20lbs. I donít care if Eric Bonet is torturing Halle Berry during divorce settlements by not letting her see his daughter Erika that she has become very attached to.

My sisters are addicted to Star magazine. I sort of understand it, yet cannot possibly fathom it. I like my gossip in the form of InStyle or the aforementioned Entertainment Weekly. Itís sugar and carb-free gossip. Or something. More palatable to me.

I am not saying that I donít like frothy hoodoo. I do. Apparently I am just particular about my frothy hoodoo. Somebody should up sell me some better frothy hoodoo. Like yesterday.

editor's note: My sisters are not addicted to STAR MAGAZINE, but US Weekly. No wonder my brain almost fell out. I plead forgiveness, thank you

Apparently I can't shut up...
hearts aflutter - 2011-04-12
blather over lunch - 2010-04-30
revival - 2010-04-18
foot dragger - 2009-08-21
The bangs of a Stooge - 2009-08-20

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