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maybe I need to have a dream...
2004-07-18 @ 1:01 p.m.

heelandlass said she had a dream about me being sad about all the places Iíve never gone. Iíve been thinking about that, and Iím not sure there are any. I am not so worldly. Europe has never been particularly compelling to me. I assume that once there, I would be overwhelmed by the beauty and culture, and it turns out that I am, actually, a big fan of both beauty and culture, but for some reason my heart has never been filled with the longing to roam. That must be cause I am a Cancer. I love road trips, and new cities, and new things in general- but if I donít get those new experiences, I donít apparently miss that I havenít had them.


I am up for it when adventure beckons, but I donít go out looking for anything. Not adventure, not friends, not someone to date me so I could maybe remember what sex is like and why it was so compelling to me for yearsÖ

I also donít sit around feeling unsatisfied all the live long day either, but WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I remember when the Replacements song "Unsatisfied" was my favorite.

I know that I like being social and the feeling of community because umm, Iím here right?

Is it just that I havenít found anything new worth wanting yet? Something to do, something to be, someone to desire?

Whatís up with that? I remember what it was like to wait for the unknown to come to me... Because, even if thereís nothing apparently missing- thereís stuff missing! Life could be more fulfilling! Why donít I pursue that?

Answer me that.

Apparently I can't shut up...
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