still not looking down
2004-10-03 @ 10:23 a.m.
Well, I went down to apply for emergency assistance, and I�m not ACTUALLY eligible until 1 year from the date I got it last time, which is Oct. 21st. But they will process my application, and let my landlord know when he�d receive the funds.
I have a terrible feeling about the whole thing, frankly. The caseworker said he�d call my landlord, and I went forward immediately to check on my back up plan, who- interestingly enough, had this message �We�re no longer accepting applications for October assistance. Please call back on November 1st to make a claim for November.� This was the message I heard on September 3rd. This was defeating.
I am kind of freaking out. I�m terrified to call my landlord and find out if this is okay or not. I�m guessing he�s not happy, and why should he be? He�ll be getting money for October�s rent prior to the arrears, but things are definitely not wrapped up by any means. I could still be denied assistance.
I just feel like this is trouble, although realistically, there�s just time to burn before I�m eligible, so why not make the irresponsible unlucky misguided girl jump through hoops? But I will. Employment verification takes the control out of my hands, which scares the shit out of me, because employment verification through my company takes forever. I used to have to pacify the poor souls waiting for one with their lives in the balance, all the time.
Of course with the recent changes in the KGB/Daddyman situation pretty much blows my backup plan to bits. Because getting an apartment in that building when it�s evident she�ll be there all the time, is just not an option. I also have to decide what to do about the Daddyman having the girls, because she�ll be there. And regardless of sorry, or whatever she made threatening allusions towards those children. Maybe they were just to �get at� him, but there would be a restraining order if what she said made the criteria of �terrorist threats�. But I don�t tell lies to manipulate the police.
So I am just trying to get along without feeling abject terror. I�m not sure what will happen next, but I am pretty sure I will be okay. I�m going to have to be.
I can�t think bigger right now. I just have to focus on each step on that very taut rope.