still not looking down
2004-10-03 @ 10:23 a.m.
Well, I went down to apply for emergency assistance, and I’m not ACTUALLY eligible until 1 year from the date I got it last time, which is Oct. 21st. But they will process my application, and let my landlord know when he’d receive the funds.
I have a terrible feeling about the whole thing, frankly. The caseworker said he’d call my landlord, and I went forward immediately to check on my back up plan, who- interestingly enough, had this message “We’re no longer accepting applications for October assistance. Please call back on November 1st to make a claim for November.” This was the message I heard on September 3rd. This was defeating.
I am kind of freaking out. I’m terrified to call my landlord and find out if this is okay or not. I’m guessing he’s not happy, and why should he be? He’ll be getting money for October’s rent prior to the arrears, but things are definitely not wrapped up by any means. I could still be denied assistance.
I just feel like this is trouble, although realistically, there’s just time to burn before I’m eligible, so why not make the irresponsible unlucky misguided girl jump through hoops? But I will. Employment verification takes the control out of my hands, which scares the shit out of me, because employment verification through my company takes forever. I used to have to pacify the poor souls waiting for one with their lives in the balance, all the time.
Of course with the recent changes in the KGB/Daddyman situation pretty much blows my backup plan to bits. Because getting an apartment in that building when it’s evident she’ll be there all the time, is just not an option. I also have to decide what to do about the Daddyman having the girls, because she’ll be there. And regardless of sorry, or whatever she made threatening allusions towards those children. Maybe they were just to “get at” him, but there would be a restraining order if what she said made the criteria of “terrorist threats”. But I don’t tell lies to manipulate the police.
So I am just trying to get along without feeling abject terror. I’m not sure what will happen next, but I am pretty sure I will be okay. I’m going to have to be.
I can’t think bigger right now. I just have to focus on each step on that very taut rope.