getting back into the same ole skin
2003-11-07 @ 3:28 p.m.
Yesterday I had time before picking up the girls, so I went home and changed into something I felt more alluring in and since I got my check- finally went to the comic book store where this acquaintance of mine now works. He used to be the main clerk at the Comic Book College- the center of my world for 6 years.
This guy is pretty cool. And he sort of makes my heart go pitypat. It doesn't definitely go pittypat, but the gears in my brain occasionally turn thinking about this fella. I never worked with him, but he's the best friend of this kid (he used to be a kid when I first met him when he was 14 at least) that I knew for years. The Kid is maybe one of my favorite people in the world, because he went from the shyest person I had ever known to being a relatively social being- however quiet. Plus, he always had excellent taste in stuff- music, books, comics, movies. Anyway the fella that works at the comic shop is his best friend, and so we fell into step immediately the moment we had met the summer before I was forced to straighten up my life.
So I tarted myself up a little and went on an adventure to this comic shop. To see what I would see. I've avoided the place because it's downtown, and who likes driving downtown? But there I went, and there was a parking meter right in front of the shop and I loaded her up and strode right in.
First of all, there's nothing cooler than being a girl in a comic book shop for getting attention. And since I was, at one time, the only comic shop girl around town- I have the air of mythos about me. I swear it's true. I walked into the shop and there the fella was- totally cute, with immediate recognition and pleased to see me. I hadn't seen him since before I got pregnant over a year ago. And everything was cool- like we are friends even though we don't actually know each other. The other cool part was he was ringing people up since Thursday is a busy comics day, but he'd come over to wherever I was in the shop browsing to chat and help me when there wasn't someone at the register. The first thing he showed me was the hardcover collection of my favorite comic book stories by my favorite comic book artist/writer ever. I am pretty sure it was half because he knew I dug it, and have because he dug it.
So I'm proud of myself- I went out into a brand new atmosphere without fear and it felt like home. I was happy and confident there, and I know that I exuded that. I know that an idea that's been running around my head about wasn't pure fantasy- that there might be something to pursue if I decide to. If nothing else, it was a good practice run at being around a guy that I want to like me in general. Don't laugh! You'd be amazed at how few men you can run into as a single mother even while I'm working! I guess I am preoccupied when the girls are around anyway, so I'm not always my truest self. It had been awhile, in fact, that I had felt my truest since in every sense of the word. Did I feel like my truest self yesterday? Awfully damn close. So I'm going back regardless of the fella- because he's not the draw, although he might be the excuse... I can use any excuse to jump more fully into life solo, that I can get.