2010-04-18 @ 11:16 a.m.
"To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour."
I was reading old entries last night, and as a result, I'm totally disappointed in myself.
Not because I'm judging my past or feeling regretful, but because I haven't written in so long. I will say that it's not that I keep saying I will, or wanting to and not doing it, but because I just SHOULD do it. I need to make time for it.
My senior year in high school we were asked what our plans for the future were, and because I didn't know if I was going to college right after high school, I (very cheekily) wrote the first 2 lines of the above quote instead. Turned out that our answers were given to all the other Catholic high schools for their newspapers or something and as a result there were several friends from Jr. High who'd suspected I'd lost my mind. Heh.
Truth is, that my life has been led very much that way (yes, like I'd lost my mind..) which amuses me still, to no end. I firmly believe that as much as I need to tear ourselves away from the suck of screen time into free range life, that without the community of friends I've found here, that without you (because you're all still there, even if you have no idea I'm updating, even without you ACTIVELY as my audience, you are my audience all the same)I wouldn't have the perspective I have now on everything that's happened in my life for the past 7 years. If writing for you can make re-reading all those entries fun, when I know I wouldn't really ever want to re-live any of it? That's really something. I was somehow born knowing there's nothing more valuable than a good story, and I have to remember that sometimes what you're looking at as a crutch just turns out to be invaluable support. So I'm going to stop discrediting the feeling I don't have anything to say, just because it's not dramatic. I just need to start talking if I want to really get the important things out of life.
“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates