if you wave at the dark cloud, does it float away like smoke does?
2004-01-14 @ 9:37 a.m.
I took a day off to focus.
My house is still a ruin, and that must be adjusted. I don't like taking out the garbage, because it's 3 flights of stairs in back, and the door opens to a thick patch of ice. The neighbor who is supposed to be the "caretaker" is pretty much awol. So since taking out the garbage basically has to happen, I do silly things like put it in my car trunk and throw it into the dumpster at school.
I am the first to admit that seems silly and potentially gross.
I have a lot of debt. I have an outstanding loan that is shared with Sal, but only I get any info regarding. Also a debt from daycare that consists mostly of fees that should have been billed to the county since I had full childcare authorization paid for by assistance during that time. (Much of it is 3-4 years old from when I was a student!) This has been addressed with billing with the daycare several times, but somehow it got written-off. They are asking for almost 6 grand from me and less than 2 grand is my valid debt. I don't want to have to change daycare because of something someone they fired didn't do, and then someone else didn't want to deal with. I spoke to that collection agency last night. Karla was very nice, especially since she knew I'd left voice mails after receiving each of the other letters/notices from them and she never returned my call.
I owe a cable company that no longer exists money because I still have cable boxes that should have been returned. They are sitting in my house. But where do they get returned now? The credit report shows Paragon Cable. Bwhahaha!
I own a van, free and clear, a nice mini-van, that I can't drive because I can't afford to insure it right now. My neon is owned by my parents and they pay the insurance. Since it'll be 2 years in March since the nightmare of accidents that just wouldn't end, I imagine I am near a point where insurance will be much more affordable.
But foremost in my mind is my student loan debt. I could make arrangements with this if I was getting child support, I'm pretty sure. But not yet. As it stands, I won't get a tax return windfall this year since they are bound to take it. Part of me thinks that's good since it'll knock out a big chunk. But I rely on my earned income chunk from my tax return for so much. I really really was hoping to get a computer for home. I am greedy. The whole bancruptcy idea was fueled mostly by the idea of it including my student loan. Doesn't look like that can happen though. I imagine I have enough debt otherwise to still consider it. I think there's at least 10 grand potentially out there anyway.
A garnishment would squash me. Taking my tax return is merely disappointing.
Remarkably, I am considering all this with a large degree of detachment, and not much stress. Right now, I am thinking ahead still.