2004-03-10 @ 3:09 p.m.
Okay- first of all the system was “down” this morning. Instead of getting calls rerouted because of this, I had to take call after call telling people “Sorry-call back later”. This can be somewhat amusing way to pass the time if you are taking one call every 4 minutes or so. This is not at all amusing when you take 40 calls in 15 minutes without pause sweetly pissing ever caller off.
It felt just like being punched repeatedly. For 2 hours and 15 minutes.
And then I called about my defaulted student loan on my break. That went well- they were nice to me, the payments I have to make are doable, but if my loan is offset, there is nothing I can do about it until the 12 month “program” is completed successfully.
None of this surprised me, but it did manage to exhaust me.
I am a ghost of a mommylap that is not 100% customer service today. I got lauded and rewarded yesterday for having the Quality call of the month. I can’t tell you what they really call a perfect call because then you might figure out the soft and cuddly, yet evil all encompassing empire I work for.
I feel erased after this morning, like there is barely anything left. Not weak so much and non-existent. A phantom.
I am reveling in the miracle of being at work, staying at work, not plotting to leave work, and for not crying when I did feel weaker and worser earlier.
I am overlooking every opportunity to be helpful today. If you want something, you have to ask for it. I am a thickheaded Godzilla stumbling through callers’ Tokyo of Secret Hopes.
Because if I have to take responsibility like a grown up, AND have work bother me like a regular person, then so does everyone else.