My 30�s, which I spent my entire young life waiting for, are half over. When I anticipated this time, I�ll admit I never once thought of myself as being a parent. I never ever thought of being a mother when I was young. I didn�t play house. I played Charlie�s Angels (I was Kelly-duh). I don�t know why I was so sure that once I turned 30 that things were bound to start happening, but I never have ever once thought of thirty as being old.

These past two weeks, I have felt kind of old. Okay- maybe not old, but tired. Tired from working a really simple job. One with duties that require I be sitting.

A show of hands please, those of you who think I am actually just completely uninspired and sort of emotionally exhausted? Good. It�s unanimous.

I have spent this past year just trying to regain my footing. I am well over the post-Sal trauma; I�d like to think. Although he continues to come up with new indiscretions (like copping a quick feel when I hugged him for Father�s Day- teach me not to maintain an arm�s length.) I can predict life even with Sal factored in now. I am as sure on my feet as I am going to be, I think, and I can�t keep waiting for a level playing field.

It occurred to me that stuff happens when I�m cautious and when I�m careless and a twisted ankle just doesn�t slow me down that much. I�m not tired because I�ve had too much life; I�m tired because I am not getting enough.

Here comes tomorrow already.

Ready, Set, Go.

mommylap's birthday is June 24th. The exactly 6 months from Christmas Eve thing has always worked out exceedingly well for her