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Summer Stock Act Two
2004-08-16 @ 1:17 p.m.

read this first

Act Two

When Eep asked me “why are they arresting Daddy?” I was able to tell her that they had to because KGB had said that Daddy hurt her. She said “but he didn’t do that. That’s not true. It’s ILLEGAL to FRAME someone.”

We got ready for school (and I called in to be absent from work asking for my supervisor to call me) and left. While on the road a call with a blocked number came through, and I answered it, assuming it was work. It was KGB.

“I need to stop by and get some of my things…” she slurred at me, sounding drunk.

“That’s too bad. You should consider sleeping for a while, being that you’re obviously drunk.”

I hung up

No caller ID ringing again. I am guessing it’s still not work, but I can’t be sure. I answer-

“I just want to stop by and get some things.”

“well you’re out of luck since I’m not at your former apartment. The only person who could let you in is otherwise occupied as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“where are you?”

“I’m on my way to work, not that it’s any of your business.”

“mwhaa haa mmmm bleh bleh bleh”

“Wow you must be really drunk, because I can’t understand a single thing you just said. I thought you were better with the English than that.”

She hangs up.

I decide to confirm that she’s calling from her cell, which I have in my call log from 5:30. A guy answers slurring even worse than she is.

“Oh I’m sorry sir. I was trying to reach a crazy drunken cunt. Clearly this isn’t the right number.”

“This is Jason. She’s here”

“Oh I see, I had been hoping that you were less drunk than she is, but clearly you’re not. I’ll let you go being that you need all your strength since you’re a drunken scumbag being manipulated by a crazy drunken retard.”

Dialtone here, if that’s what you hear when you hang up a cell phone.

And then ringing! And yes, it’s from the number I dialed. I could ignore it, but it’s kind of funny. If they keep calling, I’m going to file a phone harassment report…

“You juss like analyzed me in a second over the phone and didn’t give me a chance to say anything.”

“I can’t really understand you, but you know there’s not a lot of room for argument with the “drunken scumbag” qualification.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“oh unlike your new little chippy, I am actually a good person who has never hurt anyone. I would actually BE the victim she’s merely playing on TV.”

Stunned pause

“Being that I’m not really into discussion with drunken idiot criminals, I’ll let you go lie your head down.”

Hang up.

Ring. It’s HER!!

“you are dishreshpecting my man.”

Once the laughter stops

“oh I’m sorry, I couldn’t possibly keep track of the men in this world that are somehow affiliated with you. I know, in the future if they’re drunk and stupid, I’ll assume they’re with you.”

Hang up. Ring

“Oh you are sho funny, being that you are running back to shomeone who left you.”

“Oh you are so wrong, being that Sal marrying you is the best thing that ever happened to me. Pity it’s the worst thing that ever happened to him.”

“Did you ever wonder why he never married you? Why you bore 3 of his children and he never married you?”

“Um no. because I never wanted him for a husband ever.”

“oh REALLY”

“Yes really. It’s not really worth talking about it with you being that you are drunk and have no idea what a marriage commitment, or any commitment of any kind is.

“Because here’s a newsflash- I have had sex with a total of 3 people in the past 10 years, and I’m pretty sure you’ve been MARRIED to more than that.”

She’s laughing because clearly, our values on this point are incredibly different.

“You know, you really have no idea what you’re in for involving me in this. Because you might play victim really convincingly, but that’s not when you have someone against you who has as clear a conscience as I do. If you even begin to pit YOUR victim against the victim I can pull out AUTHENTICALLY, you’ll be in for a surprise.”

“Now I have not involved you in any-“

“You’re calling me right now, and taunting me, aren’t you? And not to mention the things I”VE HEARD you say about the girls. Seriously. Back off. I heard what you said last night. Don’t even start to consider.”

Hang up. I’m really pissed right now. No more talky playtime.

Ring

“Please. I do care about the childr-“

“You can just SHUT UP. I heard exactly the way you said that last night, out of context when you were worried that the truth about you would come out. So SHUT UP!”

No more calls.

I couldn’t file a restraining order for the girls because “I know where your children live” and the like are implied threats rather than “terroristic threats” . She would have had to say “I’m going to break your children’s necks” etc. I could file a harassment restraining order but it costs $300. I was able to file a report about the harassment over the phone though, so it’s on record. It was cool. The female officer who called me back to take the report was hilarious and sympathetic and it was both convenient and cool simultaneously.

I called the Burnsville police department and left a message about Sal's arrest and if what I could verify would help him.

I was just waiting to know more.


Apparently I can't shut up...
hearts aflutter - 2011-04-12
blather over lunch - 2010-04-30
revival - 2010-04-18
foot dragger - 2009-08-21
The bangs of a Stooge - 2009-08-20

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