very tenative in all hope
2004-09-07 @ 3:23 p.m.
This is my frame of mind right now. I wrote some checks that needed to be covered by a cash deposit today. Thatís not going to happen. I will probably get maybe as much as 7 overdraft fees that will make me overdrawn and keep me from paying the amount of rent I promised my landlord on Friday. In this case, I might as well just quit my job tomorrow. Apply for emergency assistance and dig a hole I can hide in for a while. Because getting the cash after 3 apparently is not good enough, and I might as well just give up. If I have to deal with that amount of not fair, I am going to get really bad and give up on pretty much every responsibility short of my kids.
I really fucking mean it too. Iím a little pissed at the world right now and it doesnít matter that itís nobodyís fucking fault,
I could swear again. We could all swear together and raise our fists. I could throw my old car battery through a plate glass window and howl at the moonÖ
UPDATE: I was -57 at bank close yesterday. This is unfortunately about 3 checks and 3 debit transactions which is of course 6 fees that will be about 4 times the amount I was short, not to mention the fact I deposited $120 cash at 5 pm that day. So, we'll see what the fees actually charged are. If anyone knows of a nice smooth river rock on which I can beat my head, I would like the address...