Perhaps I spoke too soon. Things are not so much better now, or even improving as much as it's there are probabilities in place that imply that if everything goes right (for once) there may be HOPE of things getting better right beyond the horizon. Financially speaking, pretty much, I am still taking the hits that imply Behind is my forever Home.

I know you all feel me when I say that there is nothing worse than an overdraft fee of $35 for a purchase of $2.36 and never believe there is any rhyme to what will post first in the realm of "approved charges" and if you gamble with that very gray area the monster that lives in that very gray area will do its best to eat you alive every damn time.

If you don't recognize the picture, it's Butch and Sundance right after they were taken unaware having lunch and trapped. During the gunfight they are running out of ammo, so Butch makes a dash for their horses so they can reload. In doing so, he is wounded, as is Sundance who covered him in the effort. If you've seen the movie you know things look quite dire for the outlaws as they contemplate their next move. They pretend they aren't cornered because their luck has never run out. They have no other choice for an outlook than hope, because without it they cannot move at all.

Moving on.

I am reading more non-fiction than I have ever. The branch of the library near to me (and adjacent to my beloved Grain Belt building) is remarkably challenged in the classic fiction to which I am normally drawn, and as a result of my refusal to pay to park downtown OR pay bus fare for 3 times 2, I have been making due with what is there.
I've read Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook -which is more of the theology of Bourdain's approach to classic bistro cooking. It's excellent even if you never attempt a single recipe, and more than likely will have you contemplating making veal stock to have demi-glace on hand.

A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisine also by Bourdain which makes me want to go to Vietnam like you wouldn't believe. Needless to say Bourdain is like the Lou Reed of chefs to me, and I will gladly read or watch any show/book he offers up to me. I think this book is better than the beloved Kitchen Confidential and that makes it awfully good. I am still sad that the Fox show failed- because the energy of the kitchen was there people. And Bradley Cooper might not have been anywhere as wretchedly cool as Tony Bourdain, but that is probably why his character's name was Jack Bourdain instead. (plus I need Nicholas Brendon on a good show very badly. He is only Xander in reruns, and while I will wake at 6:00am for some Xander, I prefer him to be on post-dinner.)

Moving on, I got my hands on Which Lie Did I Tell? by William Goldman which is a fantastic book/memoir about writing screenplays. He talks about his experiences writing some of his best known screenplays (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Princess Bride, Misery among them) and ends with some great writing examples/exercises. This book was wonderful and informative- and I recommend it highly especially to anyone who enjoyed Stephen King's On Writing. Besides crafting the beloved Princess Bride (novel AND screenplay!) William Goldman wrote one of my favorite books that too many people have never heard of- Boys and Girls Together. (another for that list is What Makes Sammy Run? by Budd Shulberg )

In that theme I just finished My Movie Business: A Memoir by John Irving, which was a lovely read for anyone who loves John Irving (weetabix, for instance). It was great reading about the challenges he's experienced adapting his own work, as well as his feelings about the productions from his novel in which he didn't participate. Between this and reading A Widow for One Year in the past few months I feel like I've rediscovered a favorite. There can't be enough of that.

I've read some others too, but those were the ones that made me forget everything but the book as I was reading it. There is no better transportation than that in the universe. Hurrah.

My Nana who turned 98 in April is in the hospital. At the beginning of the summer she had a stroke- which she recovered from quite nicely, But in the past month has had several more small strokes as well as some grand mal seizures. She's in hospice care at the hospital now, and her son- my dad, is in Milwaukee with her. Her pulse and blood pressure are very strong, and although being in hospice means we've acknowledged she's well on her way to the end, there's no telling how long the journey will take her. In my conversation last night with my dad I said "it could be weeks?" and he said it very well could be months. She is comfortable, and the saddest thing is the evidence that these series of strokes has now altered her brain forever- and that my dad and Aunt Jo are mostly not sure if Nana is currently recognizing them. This is something that I can handle, but also heavy on my mind. But, as Alton Brown is oft to say on Good Eats- "that's another episode.."