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the karma diet
2004-03-02 @ 10:26 a.m.

My parents' house is the only place I am silly enough to weigh myself. This may be linked to the fact that there is a scale there, right in front of the toilet where I can't avoid looking at it. So invariably, I finish my business and jump on the scale.

So anyway, somehow since Christmas, I have apparently lost about 10 lbs. Because I weighed myself about 4 weeks ago to find myself 5 lbs lighter than I was at Christmas. I disregarded it because that's definitely enough to make your pants fall down. My pants weren't falling down.

So now there's another 5 lbs gone? "That's definitely a pants size" I say to myself in my confusion.

I am confused because what am I doing that would cause me to lose weight? Nothing. Smaller portions probably. I have been run down and tired and bored with life enough to not be that enthused about eating. I have been intending to diet, but haven't gotten my act together enough to commit. I guess I get to lose weight via the Karma diet. Yay team!

So I did go into Old Navy yesterday and I tried on some pants that were one size smaller. They fit better than the ones I've been wearing so I didn't have to make a special trip to break my parents' scale with a sledgehammer.

Of course, I am not buying any new pants, because I should just lose 10 more pounds mysteriously and get to go down 2 sizes, like kristintracy.

If my body and metabolism can just take care of that for me, I'd fork over a check to dress the new size it would wear.

In other news, my voice has almost made its return. Gargling with salt water and taking vitamin B-12 is coincidental its progress. B-12 is good for the nervous system and I bought some in case this was stress-related. It's also good for your metabolism, so maybe it can assist my body in the overt mission mentioned above.

Nobody ever thought to ask me if I'd been taking my vitamins.

I sure wasn't!

Sal likes to mention all sorts of ridiculous information to me in passing. It's like he just wants to drop that in my hat to take with me. Recently he mentioned his wife's weight to me. He said "that's more than he weighs! She doesn't look it.."

Nope, she doesn't.

She says she gets fat "when she's married".

Dude. She's been married for the past 12 years....

"She means she loses weight when her relationship is breaking up and gains it when she's in a relationship again."

I just laughed right at him. Because, not smoking crack-cocaine anymore probably screws with your metabolism too. I mean, along with the "settling into the comfortable new marriage".

I didn't mention that I already weighed less than the weight he noted as hers, because it doesn't mean I look better.

But I dress better.

And now I weigh another 10 lbs less than her.

Good thing she's the "winner"

I think next time I see her, I will ask-"Are you taking your vitamins?"

hee hee

Apparently I can't shut up...
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