I watched �Cheaper by the Dozen� this weekend with the girls. Hillary Duff is in it. I love Hilary Duff because she is completely wholesome and yet can still pull off wearing heavy black eyeliner like no one else since Chrissie Hynde. Stop right there! We are only equating an eyeliner factor, not equating Hilary musically to the Pretenders. That would be stupid and crazy.

Also in that movie is the boy who plays Superboy on Smallville. I instructed EEP and the mina saying, �that is who you should date in high school. A boy just like that.� When I told one of my Smallville watching co-horts this, he rebelled over the suggestion. He suggested that was like telling my daughters to date the equivalent of a pansy-girl-boy. And then it came to me.

OF COURSE I want my daughters to date a sensitive nancy boy. I was pointing out the prettiest, most innocuous male I could ever conceive of on purpose. I know, for a fact, that no FATHER wants to imagine their daughters ever ANY guy. I am pointing out the ones that are harmless TO MY OWN ADVANTAGE later in case I have to protect any of them from Fatherharm. Someday my evil co-hort may understand this because, being evil he knows how he thinks and his intentions for girls. To quote Sal :

�I don�t trust a Dad who might like me when we first meet. Why should he like ANYONE who�s fucking his daughter?�

Of course, my brain- still all blocked up from not getting its enema yet, went on jumping to new themes and ideas.

That kid is the perfect Superman because Superman is the most innocuous Superhero I can imagine. He is the Ken doll of Superheroes. He is a hero with no dark side, omnipotent, infallible in his intentions, god-like and all-powerful, but without any offensive testosterone or smelly balls- as it were. HE�S TOTALLY BORING.

Flawless= boring. I am all about the flaws and the moral conflict.

But for the girls, I am suggesting the bland. Salt isn�t good for you. You can�t drink the pickle juice � you can�t even try it.

Do as I SAY. Not as I do.

in�noc�u�ous adj. 1) Having no adverse effect; harmless. 2) Not likely to offend or provoke to strong emotion; insipid.