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not even worth talking about I'm sure..
2004-11-22 @ 12:49 p.m.

I have a new friend. I don't know if we are actually friends in my weird definition of the term, but I sure like him. He must consider me a friend because he exclaimed he couldn't scavenge for cigarettes for myself and his friend Sam because he loves us and cigarettes could kill us.

I take that with a grain of salt, but we might be approaching friendship. My intellect keeps telling me I have a crush on this person, but my heart is more reticent. I mean, I like him and I am happy to see him (which is surprising and hilarious being that in the past I have clearly identified him as a "freak" because he was really quiet, really intense, and occasionally manic) and I really like the fact he is paying attention to me, but I don't have that pull to put my lips on him.

Apparently being told "you have really nice kids" is the most flattering adorable thing any man has ever said to me though, because when he said so on Monday I couldn't stop thinking about it, and then Saturday when he repeated it saying "I had a really good time hanging out with you all Monday, your kids are really nice.." I liked it even more.

So yeah. Whatever. He's still a really inappropriate dating choice for me, so I don't know what I'm thinking anyway.

Big winning moments in the tally so far-

Coming to the show in disguise (a fake moustache, wig,skull cap, and mirrored sunglasses)
Dressing in a gorilla costume for the show, and ending his bit by jumping onto the table I was sitting at making us laugh ourselves nearly incontinent.
Quoting Ramones lyrics and clearly choosing his favorites based on ridiculousness ("I don't want to be buried, in a Pet Sematary, I don't want to live this life again")
Saying "that sounds cool, like nrbq" when I was thinking the same thing exactly
Squeezing my hand, for some reason I don't recall. He did this several times and I wanted it to keep happening. Which isn't undeniable lust, but is undeniably something.

I'll stop now, about it. All I know is I really like talking to him, and I'm flattered that he seems to like to pay attention to me. My brain has a serious crush, my reason thinks I'm crazy, and my body and heart are still withholding judgment.

Apparently I can't shut up...
hearts aflutter - 2011-04-12
blather over lunch - 2010-04-30
revival - 2010-04-18
foot dragger - 2009-08-21
The bangs of a Stooge - 2009-08-20

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